Melina offers the wrong appendage. Screenshot: FromSoftware / Kotaku
Elden Ring is full of hard bosses, esoteric secretsand weird exploits, but the current top guide on the game’s Steam page isn’t about any of that. It’s about feet. The fleshy pads come in all different shapes and sizes, and Elden ring, like the Souls games before it, is full of them. So of course someone decided to document each pair, and now Steam users can’t get enough of them.
“The Many Feet of The Lands Between,” reads the title of the current most popular guide. The collection, curated by Steam user Mister B, has over 70 entries, from Fia’s long narrow tootsies to the Mad Pumpkin Head’s gnarly arches. There are zero descriptions; it’s all just names and images, and it keeps getting updated with new content. The guide has a perfect five out of five stars and over 500 ratings. Some commenters are appalled. Others applaud the dedication to a longstanding Dark Souls meme about series creator Hidetaka Miyazaki having a foot fetish.
Number one with a bullet. Screenshot: Steam / Kotaku
Consider the Demi-Human Queen’s feet, which look more like giant hands. Or the Marionette Soldier’s feet, which look like broken hair combs. Which ones are your favorite? I’m partial to the Omen’s. The ogre-like creatures are big but quick, and their feet look like two stacked on top of each other.
“It’s a video game ffs,” reads one comment. “Thanks! This will surely be helpful in future playthroughs!” reads another. “Truely a Miyazaki approved guide,” wrote a third person.
“Try feet, but…?” Hmm, needs more workshopping. Screenshot: Steam / Bandai Namco / Mister B / Kotaku
But the list is far from complete, and players have taken issue with some of the notable absences. One of the most glaring is Blaidd, the fan-favorite half-wolf NPC running around in the Mistwood Ruins. Players want to know: Where are his hairy wigglies? Godrick the Grafted is also MIA. (Mister B says it’s because both of them wear shoes.) Which feet were the hardest to capture? Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy. Mister B had to stand in the lava pit to get close enough for the money shot.
Mister B did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
It’s unclear when exactly the foot fetish meme took hold in the Souls community, but there have been an coordinate number of rendered feet in the game dating back to the original Demon’s Souls in 2009. Feet are common enough in everyday life, but much rarer in video games where developers often settle for simple coverings rather than rendering the detailed appendages. But the Souls series are no ordinary games, and, as proven once again by Steam’s current trending footstiary, Elden Ring fans are no ordinary gamers.
“NOTE: Some feet may be missing, if this makes you mad or sad (or both) let us know and we’ll send out our professional potographer to take a picture,” Mister B writes in the guide. Well Tarnished, what are you waiting for?